You guessed it. I am writing in defense of myself, my neighbors, my friends and our fellow ranchers. More than that however, I am writing because I know that there are people out there who don't understand. People that I know would feel the sting of guilt if they did have more understanding. Allow me...
This life of ranching, it isn't merely what we do, it is part of who we are. "Who is that gentleman?" You are asked by the person behind you at the grocery store. Answers may vary, but I guarantee it will be something relating to the ranch that he was raised on and now operates over west of town. And that woman there? Well, she raises horses over on the White River. That young man? Oh, he is the son of this rancher who lives over east of town, they raise registered herefords. It is how we are identified, it is how we live, it is so much a part of what makes us who we are, what has built our character. Sometimes it has been a part of their lives for generations, it's where and how you grew up. When someone says you can take a person out of the country but you can't take the country out of the person, they aren't far off, it is a different world and one that has had a big part of shaping your very identity.
Understand, our hearts literally broke when we were able to get out and see the devastation this storm caused. Not only for ourselves, for the young neighbor family who lost their heifer herd that they had put sweat and tears into getting to the place where they would have their own heifers to calve this spring that were just the genetics they had been working for to produce the kind of cattle they thought they could make a go of this ranching thing with. For our children who spent hours and days bottling, playing with, halter breaking and riding these animals and we have to go home and tell them we found them dead on the prairie and there was nothing we could do. For the kids that will go back to camp some summer excited to ride that horse that they hit it off with last year or the year before, the horse that helped them to accomplish something they had only ever dreamed about, but will then be told that they will never see him on this earth again. For those who have to tell them. For the animals who suffered and we couldn't save. Our. Hearts. Broke.
I have heard the question asked, "Why didn't you move the cows to protection when you knew the storm was coming?" Many people have sought to debunk this one with explaining that there wasn't time. You have already heard that, but have you heard of all of the people who already had their cattle and horses or livestock in winter pastures and still received losses? It didn't matter. Some were heavy and some were small, yet a loss is a loss all the same. I know of people who wintered these same pastures for years and yet, up out of the draws, trees, and cover the wind took them and there they died, even in places that received merely inches of snow. It wasn't the snow, it wasn't lack of preparation on the part of the people, it was simply the perfect set of circumstances, all the right elements to cause the destruction that it did, and completely out of anyone's control.
So the next time you put fingers to the keyboard, see a rancher on the street, or watch or read something about this catastrophe, try to understand. We are hurting, some are lost, how do we rise from the ashes? Not by judging or being judged, not with the help of a government who has more important matters to take care of. By reaching out a hand and being what is needed. A word of encouragement, a little bit of acknowledgement, a hand that wants to help.
Jesus once said we are to love our neighbors as ourselves, it was like the first commandment to love the LORD our GOD. How are you showing love, for we are all neighbors in a great big ol' world.
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
The Results Of Self-Pity
When I am feeling down like I am today, and let myself wallow I think back on the last three years and think to myself, "How can a person be expected to be in good spirits when they have had to say good bye to a baby brother, two grandparents, a dad and two babies in the space of little over three years, among other hardships and trials?"
I say to you now, one day on earth brings me ever closer to seeing those loved ones who now reside with Jesus in heaven. That is something to find joy in, right? I can come up with more if I look. I am writing today because I want someone to hear my words and I don't do very well at voicing them out loud. I recently was downhearted to hear the news of someone I love dearly having potential health issues. But I am and was hopeful for renewed health and good news from doctors after tests and additional appointments. What really gets me down is the loss of HOPE and JOY. Letting go of FAITH and giving in to hopelessness.
I had done that recently. After our second miscarriage in a year. But I hadn't realized it until this scenario: A day after the last snow storm one of our daughter's baby goats that she nursed through the storm disappeared. It was a terribly windy and stormy day yet, but no significant snow or precip, just cold and windy. We looked EVERYWHERE for that little blip of white and for the next day, but nothing. I had given it up to being taken by a predator. My daughter was more than distraught, she also was wondering where God was and questioning her own faith. I could see it before this incidence, after our loss less than a month earlier. I contacted several sisters in faith whom I knew would pray sincerely for the return of this goat and for the restoration of my daughter's HOPE and FAITH, not realizing the results would also restore my own. Reading this now, I realized that little baby goat, my daughter's hope and faith, and my own, were restored exactly a month to the day after our own baby was physically taken from us and I was miraculously restored to my own family. My husband found the goat two days after she disappeared while he was feeding cows. She had somehow gotten stuck in the hay bales and couldn't find her way back out. We had prayed specifically for the return of that goat and I never dreamed that it would actually happen. I was wowed, I was humbled and I was reminded again that His ways are not our ways.
So what do I have to say to this person whom I feel has just accepted bad news as the worst? Where is your belief? God can do remarkably more than we can ask or imagine, do you believe He will? I could continue to wallow in self pity and let it drag me down, and that is exactly what it will do. It will bring everyone close to me down with it if I allow it. God will do what He will do and bring about His will without our help. He could have chosen to take me home one month ago. We could have left an hour later and it may have been too late, but I beg to differ, were it His will to spare me, the bleeding just would have begun even later. I could go back and change all of the what if's and God's will would still have been accomplished. I accept it, will you? While giving thanks in all circumstances and seeking even now to do His will? Our prayer is that we will have years yet before we have to tell you good-bye. We are going to pray specifically for restored health and time, will you, and believe that God will?
I am not trying to promote the idea that we can use prayer as a santa wish list. I know well that it is not. Sometimes God's will is not our own, but I do believe that too often we don't trust God for what we believe. Do we really believe He can accomplish the things we pray for? Do we really believe that God loves us and cares even about the little blip we are in a so much bigger picture? Because of one little snow white goat, I do, and I hope you can as well.
I say to you now, one day on earth brings me ever closer to seeing those loved ones who now reside with Jesus in heaven. That is something to find joy in, right? I can come up with more if I look. I am writing today because I want someone to hear my words and I don't do very well at voicing them out loud. I recently was downhearted to hear the news of someone I love dearly having potential health issues. But I am and was hopeful for renewed health and good news from doctors after tests and additional appointments. What really gets me down is the loss of HOPE and JOY. Letting go of FAITH and giving in to hopelessness.
I had done that recently. After our second miscarriage in a year. But I hadn't realized it until this scenario: A day after the last snow storm one of our daughter's baby goats that she nursed through the storm disappeared. It was a terribly windy and stormy day yet, but no significant snow or precip, just cold and windy. We looked EVERYWHERE for that little blip of white and for the next day, but nothing. I had given it up to being taken by a predator. My daughter was more than distraught, she also was wondering where God was and questioning her own faith. I could see it before this incidence, after our loss less than a month earlier. I contacted several sisters in faith whom I knew would pray sincerely for the return of this goat and for the restoration of my daughter's HOPE and FAITH, not realizing the results would also restore my own. Reading this now, I realized that little baby goat, my daughter's hope and faith, and my own, were restored exactly a month to the day after our own baby was physically taken from us and I was miraculously restored to my own family. My husband found the goat two days after she disappeared while he was feeding cows. She had somehow gotten stuck in the hay bales and couldn't find her way back out. We had prayed specifically for the return of that goat and I never dreamed that it would actually happen. I was wowed, I was humbled and I was reminded again that His ways are not our ways.
So what do I have to say to this person whom I feel has just accepted bad news as the worst? Where is your belief? God can do remarkably more than we can ask or imagine, do you believe He will? I could continue to wallow in self pity and let it drag me down, and that is exactly what it will do. It will bring everyone close to me down with it if I allow it. God will do what He will do and bring about His will without our help. He could have chosen to take me home one month ago. We could have left an hour later and it may have been too late, but I beg to differ, were it His will to spare me, the bleeding just would have begun even later. I could go back and change all of the what if's and God's will would still have been accomplished. I accept it, will you? While giving thanks in all circumstances and seeking even now to do His will? Our prayer is that we will have years yet before we have to tell you good-bye. We are going to pray specifically for restored health and time, will you, and believe that God will?
I am not trying to promote the idea that we can use prayer as a santa wish list. I know well that it is not. Sometimes God's will is not our own, but I do believe that too often we don't trust God for what we believe. Do we really believe He can accomplish the things we pray for? Do we really believe that God loves us and cares even about the little blip we are in a so much bigger picture? Because of one little snow white goat, I do, and I hope you can as well.
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Worn
I really should get up and move away from the computer and yet, I finally feel as if I have the strength to write this entry. I have put off talking to, communicating with and being in the presence of people for the past two weeks. I haven't felt I had the strength to deal with the well meaning comments and questions. I haven't even been able to put into perspective the array of emotions present within me. And now, here I sit looking back. This post may contain more information than you are comfortable with. If this subject causes you to be uncomfortable, don't continue on.
We discovered the loss of our second baby March 22 when I went in with my oldest and one of the youngest for a routine appt. and we failed to hear a heartbeat. I left that clinic asking why and forgetting about the hope I had gained in the past year. I went home and tried to make a plan for how we would deal with this one. I didn't want to wait a month before the baby was delivered so we decided to make an appointment with another doctor in another hospital to have the baby delivered with medication. I had lost a lot of blood in staying home last time and we didn't want to risk complications at home. We were all scheduled and were going to deal with the here and now. Our bull sale was coming the next week, I had a women's event that weekend. Life went on. For us anyway, my husband reminded me that life had continued for our little one in heaven, what was left was a shell. How comforting that was. Everything changed the night before the sale. It appeared as if things weren't going to go by my plans, but by my Lord's. That is nothing new. :) I put off going and attended the sale to be there for my husband. We were in this together and I could not bear the thought of not being there or going to the hospital to deal with this without him. We made it through the added discouragement of a less than good sale and pressed on. The Lord always provides and there were more pressing issues to deal with in the present. Getting everyone's plans changed around proved to be just as challenging. Everything fell into place and after Brad had cows fed and situated, he and I left for Sioux Falls. Our plan was still to go and stay overnight and go to my appt. the next day. I wasn't feeling terrible, but definitely increasingly uncomfortable. By Chamberlain I was having contractions every two minutes but no bleeding. By Mitchell I was having such intense pain I could hardly breathe through and Brad was getting worried. At Humboldt I called my sister-in-law and asked her to call ahead to the emergency with any information they may need to admit me. About a mile out from I-29 The bleeding began with a vengeance. I knew things were not good. I sat on the floorboard to keep from ruining the seats in the vehicle. Brad drove as fast as he dared to get to the hospital. By now I was scared. Upon arriving at the hospital, they put me in a wheel chair as blood pooled at my feet. The ER team followed up with finding out what exactly had happened and was happening and tried to assess what needed to happen next. They called down the OB-GYN surgeon on call who informed me they needed to perform an emergency D&C to stop the bleeding and they may have to remove my uterus. Shortly thereafter my body began going into shock. I will never forget how Brad kept me centered right there in that room every time I started to fall away. I have never seen IV's go in that fast in my life. Two bags of IV fluid were administered to counteract the shock while they were waiting for the blood to arrive. They administered two units of blood and kept two on hand in case they couldn't get the bleeding stopped in surgery.
I can remember how grateful I was coming out of recovery. I was still alive. They had also not had to do more than the D&C and I was not given more blood. My husband and sister-in-law waited for me when they took me to a room. So grateful. We did not get much sleep that night. An hour perhaps? But we were able to go home around 10:30 am. I was only once ever so glad to see my home, less than a year ago after the fire. But now, I was also so grateful to see my family. For days that is the emotion that ruled my days. Things could have been so much worse. If the bleeding had begun even shortly earlier, would we have made it? What if we had gone to a different hospital? But that wasn't the case. God ordained it just as it has gone and I was so thankful. And then, the inevitable happened. Reality met me. Easter Sunday I was finally alone and had to meet with the silence and didn't have to be strong for everyone else. I fell apart. All of the anger, sadness, fear, and the reality I hadn't dealt with was now staring me in the face. I see baby calves born out in the pasture and I grieve the loss of my own. I see the stone that marks the place where we buried our baby boy, Bronc, less than a year ago and I can't stand under the weight of the loss. It is only when I turn it over to the one who has ordained every day I live that I can stand and look forward with hope.
I also discovered thanks in other places for this experience. I have experienced love that broke my heart. Knowing that love has given me the capacity to love better those who are still here. I know a loss that women rarely speak of but I feel needs to be better brought to light. The most comfort I have found is in the sharing of other women who have known the same loss and feelings as I have. I was so ignorant and uninformed by doctors that I don't know how I could have endured without the counsel of those women who had been there. I can now be there for others should they need me. I have known sacrifice. As I grieved that Easter Sunday I empathized with my God. I wasn't giving up my child willingly for another, but I let go more willingly knowing the pain that He felt in seeing Jesus upon that cross. Was I as willing as He was in letting go? Could I let go for God's greater purposes? It has been difficult, painful and I take it back just to turn around and give it back again, but yes, I can do it, and with His strength I will continue to do so. I told my daughter the other day that no, life isn't fair. It isn't about what we want and how we want things to go. Sometimes, yes, it sucks. But can we trust anyway? Can we look in the face of it all and put Christ first, look for His will, accept His will, and relinquish our own "rights" as we see them? We have to if we wish to maintain peace, relationship and contentment and be effective witnesses for Him here on this earth for the time we are here. My plans, hopes, dreams and desires? No, but I can rest in peace every time I give it up to Him despite it all.
We discovered the loss of our second baby March 22 when I went in with my oldest and one of the youngest for a routine appt. and we failed to hear a heartbeat. I left that clinic asking why and forgetting about the hope I had gained in the past year. I went home and tried to make a plan for how we would deal with this one. I didn't want to wait a month before the baby was delivered so we decided to make an appointment with another doctor in another hospital to have the baby delivered with medication. I had lost a lot of blood in staying home last time and we didn't want to risk complications at home. We were all scheduled and were going to deal with the here and now. Our bull sale was coming the next week, I had a women's event that weekend. Life went on. For us anyway, my husband reminded me that life had continued for our little one in heaven, what was left was a shell. How comforting that was. Everything changed the night before the sale. It appeared as if things weren't going to go by my plans, but by my Lord's. That is nothing new. :) I put off going and attended the sale to be there for my husband. We were in this together and I could not bear the thought of not being there or going to the hospital to deal with this without him. We made it through the added discouragement of a less than good sale and pressed on. The Lord always provides and there were more pressing issues to deal with in the present. Getting everyone's plans changed around proved to be just as challenging. Everything fell into place and after Brad had cows fed and situated, he and I left for Sioux Falls. Our plan was still to go and stay overnight and go to my appt. the next day. I wasn't feeling terrible, but definitely increasingly uncomfortable. By Chamberlain I was having contractions every two minutes but no bleeding. By Mitchell I was having such intense pain I could hardly breathe through and Brad was getting worried. At Humboldt I called my sister-in-law and asked her to call ahead to the emergency with any information they may need to admit me. About a mile out from I-29 The bleeding began with a vengeance. I knew things were not good. I sat on the floorboard to keep from ruining the seats in the vehicle. Brad drove as fast as he dared to get to the hospital. By now I was scared. Upon arriving at the hospital, they put me in a wheel chair as blood pooled at my feet. The ER team followed up with finding out what exactly had happened and was happening and tried to assess what needed to happen next. They called down the OB-GYN surgeon on call who informed me they needed to perform an emergency D&C to stop the bleeding and they may have to remove my uterus. Shortly thereafter my body began going into shock. I will never forget how Brad kept me centered right there in that room every time I started to fall away. I have never seen IV's go in that fast in my life. Two bags of IV fluid were administered to counteract the shock while they were waiting for the blood to arrive. They administered two units of blood and kept two on hand in case they couldn't get the bleeding stopped in surgery.
I can remember how grateful I was coming out of recovery. I was still alive. They had also not had to do more than the D&C and I was not given more blood. My husband and sister-in-law waited for me when they took me to a room. So grateful. We did not get much sleep that night. An hour perhaps? But we were able to go home around 10:30 am. I was only once ever so glad to see my home, less than a year ago after the fire. But now, I was also so grateful to see my family. For days that is the emotion that ruled my days. Things could have been so much worse. If the bleeding had begun even shortly earlier, would we have made it? What if we had gone to a different hospital? But that wasn't the case. God ordained it just as it has gone and I was so thankful. And then, the inevitable happened. Reality met me. Easter Sunday I was finally alone and had to meet with the silence and didn't have to be strong for everyone else. I fell apart. All of the anger, sadness, fear, and the reality I hadn't dealt with was now staring me in the face. I see baby calves born out in the pasture and I grieve the loss of my own. I see the stone that marks the place where we buried our baby boy, Bronc, less than a year ago and I can't stand under the weight of the loss. It is only when I turn it over to the one who has ordained every day I live that I can stand and look forward with hope.
I also discovered thanks in other places for this experience. I have experienced love that broke my heart. Knowing that love has given me the capacity to love better those who are still here. I know a loss that women rarely speak of but I feel needs to be better brought to light. The most comfort I have found is in the sharing of other women who have known the same loss and feelings as I have. I was so ignorant and uninformed by doctors that I don't know how I could have endured without the counsel of those women who had been there. I can now be there for others should they need me. I have known sacrifice. As I grieved that Easter Sunday I empathized with my God. I wasn't giving up my child willingly for another, but I let go more willingly knowing the pain that He felt in seeing Jesus upon that cross. Was I as willing as He was in letting go? Could I let go for God's greater purposes? It has been difficult, painful and I take it back just to turn around and give it back again, but yes, I can do it, and with His strength I will continue to do so. I told my daughter the other day that no, life isn't fair. It isn't about what we want and how we want things to go. Sometimes, yes, it sucks. But can we trust anyway? Can we look in the face of it all and put Christ first, look for His will, accept His will, and relinquish our own "rights" as we see them? We have to if we wish to maintain peace, relationship and contentment and be effective witnesses for Him here on this earth for the time we are here. My plans, hopes, dreams and desires? No, but I can rest in peace every time I give it up to Him despite it all.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Traveling Back...
I started the new year off writing in my journal. I needed to collect my thoughts and go forward with something more than what I had ended the previous year. I felt as if I had been trapped in a rut and needed to look back before I could look forward and determine what had gotten me there. I want to share part of my journal entry in hopes that it will benefit the hearers and encourage you to go forth into the new year with renewed hope, faith and, foremost, thankfulness.
January 1, 2013
I thought I may need some time today to reminisce over the past year. I asked my husband this morning what his best memory was of 2012. His blank look told me that for him also, the tough times overshadowed the good ones to extent of not being able to come up with much. I had thought looking back might be a good thing to do, help put the important things back into perspective, meditate on lessons learned, but there are still so many open ended stories, chapters not yet ended, and doors still open.
Did I bring anything good out of it and into the new year? I sure hope so. I know that thanksgiving must come every day and be a priority. the LORD must come first in my life. The first thought, first counsel, and first to receive thanks.
Things cannot compare in the category of importance in comparison to people. We have finally bought a piece of land and one thing that I realized in the experience is that it really doesn't mean a lot to me. There is a certain pride in ownership of everything I guess, and it is nice to think that when we work hard to care for the land we are doing so because it is a blessing from God, but it struck me that there were so many things more important to me. I would turn around and give it right back again to gain those things that I have lost this year. My son, my father, a certain level of innocence. We didn't lose much to the fire and I recognize perspective gained from the experience. Oh, how I have had to search and learn to trust solely in God because so much makes so little sense to me. My husband and I have struggled in our relationship in relation to each situation, the constant stress of traveling and wondering how Dad is doing, dealing with other involved family, always wondering if it's enough, the stress of miscarriage, loss and the poor health that followed for so many months, loss again of my Dad, whom we had all just welcomed back into our lives after so long an absence, it all took it's toll.
What can I see looking back? Where is the good? The blessings? God is always good. He is faithful, he does not give us more than we can bear, but he may bring us oh so close in order to draw us nearer to himself, strip us down to nothing in order to build us up. I was given the opportunity to walk in the shoes of other women I know and it made me ashamed of my tunnel vision and lack of empathy. I vow evermore to see things from where others are standing before I react. I learned that just being there for people is more important thank the things you leave undone in order to be there. I could not have endured without the support of those who dropped everything, even their own families, to walk with me through the valleys. They didn't need to say or do anything. The were simply there and felt it with me, I knew I wasn't alone in my pain. I pray that I might take advantage of the same opportunities to be there for others. I learned that sometimes it is too late to say and do things that you put off for the sake of comfort or other less important priorities. Don't wait to work on your attitude, don't stay angry because you are justified, or hold grudges for the same. When you have something to say that may enrich the life of another, get past uncomfortable and say it, you may not have tomorrow. Be careful what you wish for, getting it may affect you differently than you hoped, it may change the course of your life or grieve you to the core. It did me.
My new year's resolutions? Perspective. the kind of perspective that comes from looking at the world through the eyes of Christ. How will I achieve this? I must know how he sees the world. I must study his life, know his words, and be in continuous communion with the Saviour of the world. He must become number one in my life and stay there. I must be in constant submission and yielding to Him and His will in my life. I must stop trying to change everything to fit my perfect ideal and agenda and let Christ work in and through annoying and difficult circumstances. I must remember that every person who passes through any moment of my life is there by God's sovereignty. Will they see Him being glorified through me? Will they feel His love, see His compassion, feel His mercy, or even sense His spirit? Jesus saw through the veil of sin to the beauty beneath, he chose those who were unlovable to the general public and He truly loved them, not pitied, not wanted to put on a show or build himself up, what he saw in them touched his heart.
Looking back I see I have learned many things and am sure that this year will hold many, many more lessons. I welcome the challenge and look forward to drawing closer to my Lord. I pray for revival. It must begin with "me" from there families and those closest are impacted, then church families, and from there, wow, who knows? Let us all give thanks to the giver of all good thanks and seek to show our appreciation in the new year. And to each one who has reached out a hand to the weary and broken hearted you have witnessed here, if I have not already said so, THANK YOU. Your gestures were and still are appreciated and not long forgotten. You were a bright spot on a gloomy day, a bit of perspective that I had not yet gained, or perhaps, the encouragement I needed to get up and get on with my day. :) Happy New Year All!
January 1, 2013
I thought I may need some time today to reminisce over the past year. I asked my husband this morning what his best memory was of 2012. His blank look told me that for him also, the tough times overshadowed the good ones to extent of not being able to come up with much. I had thought looking back might be a good thing to do, help put the important things back into perspective, meditate on lessons learned, but there are still so many open ended stories, chapters not yet ended, and doors still open.
Did I bring anything good out of it and into the new year? I sure hope so. I know that thanksgiving must come every day and be a priority. the LORD must come first in my life. The first thought, first counsel, and first to receive thanks.
Things cannot compare in the category of importance in comparison to people. We have finally bought a piece of land and one thing that I realized in the experience is that it really doesn't mean a lot to me. There is a certain pride in ownership of everything I guess, and it is nice to think that when we work hard to care for the land we are doing so because it is a blessing from God, but it struck me that there were so many things more important to me. I would turn around and give it right back again to gain those things that I have lost this year. My son, my father, a certain level of innocence. We didn't lose much to the fire and I recognize perspective gained from the experience. Oh, how I have had to search and learn to trust solely in God because so much makes so little sense to me. My husband and I have struggled in our relationship in relation to each situation, the constant stress of traveling and wondering how Dad is doing, dealing with other involved family, always wondering if it's enough, the stress of miscarriage, loss and the poor health that followed for so many months, loss again of my Dad, whom we had all just welcomed back into our lives after so long an absence, it all took it's toll.
What can I see looking back? Where is the good? The blessings? God is always good. He is faithful, he does not give us more than we can bear, but he may bring us oh so close in order to draw us nearer to himself, strip us down to nothing in order to build us up. I was given the opportunity to walk in the shoes of other women I know and it made me ashamed of my tunnel vision and lack of empathy. I vow evermore to see things from where others are standing before I react. I learned that just being there for people is more important thank the things you leave undone in order to be there. I could not have endured without the support of those who dropped everything, even their own families, to walk with me through the valleys. They didn't need to say or do anything. The were simply there and felt it with me, I knew I wasn't alone in my pain. I pray that I might take advantage of the same opportunities to be there for others. I learned that sometimes it is too late to say and do things that you put off for the sake of comfort or other less important priorities. Don't wait to work on your attitude, don't stay angry because you are justified, or hold grudges for the same. When you have something to say that may enrich the life of another, get past uncomfortable and say it, you may not have tomorrow. Be careful what you wish for, getting it may affect you differently than you hoped, it may change the course of your life or grieve you to the core. It did me.
My new year's resolutions? Perspective. the kind of perspective that comes from looking at the world through the eyes of Christ. How will I achieve this? I must know how he sees the world. I must study his life, know his words, and be in continuous communion with the Saviour of the world. He must become number one in my life and stay there. I must be in constant submission and yielding to Him and His will in my life. I must stop trying to change everything to fit my perfect ideal and agenda and let Christ work in and through annoying and difficult circumstances. I must remember that every person who passes through any moment of my life is there by God's sovereignty. Will they see Him being glorified through me? Will they feel His love, see His compassion, feel His mercy, or even sense His spirit? Jesus saw through the veil of sin to the beauty beneath, he chose those who were unlovable to the general public and He truly loved them, not pitied, not wanted to put on a show or build himself up, what he saw in them touched his heart.
Looking back I see I have learned many things and am sure that this year will hold many, many more lessons. I welcome the challenge and look forward to drawing closer to my Lord. I pray for revival. It must begin with "me" from there families and those closest are impacted, then church families, and from there, wow, who knows? Let us all give thanks to the giver of all good thanks and seek to show our appreciation in the new year. And to each one who has reached out a hand to the weary and broken hearted you have witnessed here, if I have not already said so, THANK YOU. Your gestures were and still are appreciated and not long forgotten. You were a bright spot on a gloomy day, a bit of perspective that I had not yet gained, or perhaps, the encouragement I needed to get up and get on with my day. :) Happy New Year All!
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